Perhaps I am not as patient as Francis Pharcellus Church, who penned the defense of Santa, but for fuck's sake, Virginia! It's goddamn September. Have a little patience. And sure, it's 1897 and you don't want to spend all day glowering at people on your bike, but find something to amuse yourself for a few months.
Seriously. September. You have three months to go. Pull it together.
In related news, I am not good with children.
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