The Nerd Chronicles - Volume 1

I saw it from across the table in the middle of the windowless classroom: a ray of hope. By which I mean a vaguely cute boy with a fossil embroidered on his backpack. I felt my lady balls drop as - with a sudden gust of sociability - I asked, "Is that Archaeopteryx?"

The boy glanced up at me then down at his backpack as he realized I was, in fact, speaking to him.

"Uh, yeah. I mean, I think it's called Arcteryx," he said, "but yeah."

I crinkled my eyebrows. I didn't think I was mispronouncing the name of the first known bird. Sure, it had been awhile since I had discovered my love of dinosaurs, but I didn't think I had forgotten the name of the creature that had finally made the shift from dinosaur to bird. It's not everyday someone shows you a slide of a transition fossil! But with a sliver of doubt now lodged in my brain, I shrugged and muttered, "Oh, maybe. I don't know."

We settled into our seats as class began, but I made a mental note to spend some time on my dear friend, the Google, when I got home. I had to be sure.

Archaeopteryx dancing. Or so I assume.

Archaeopteryx's fossilized form flickered onto my screen. It was Archaeopteryx. What the fuck was that guy talking about? With further detective work and a few more minutes on the interwebs, I discovered Arc'teryx is an expensive brand of athletic mountain wear. I had not found a fellow nerd in my class. I had found instead my school's typical fare of rich white male and been deceived by the fossil on his backpack.

But fear not. I will move on from this crushing dinosaur related disappointment to nerd another day.