Revenge!

You may or may not know, dear reader, that I have spent my summer (along with the four summers before this one) working at what some might call a water park. Others may have different names for it that include profanities. While I am sure tales of my interactions with a range of guests and my daily struggle against the Beach Boys laden soundtrack could have provided some sense of amusement, it may have also crippled your faith in humanity.

I confess this now, not because I feel you should doubt the ability of people to show even a scrap of human decency, but because tomorrow is my last day for the season - possibly for life. So to bid adieu to my (presumably final) summer in guest relations, I offer you art.

And seeing as Philip has been so popular, here's a splooge-rific limerick:

There once was a small water park,
Where guests did what most saved for dark.
They screwed in the pools
And thinking like fools,
Believed their cum stains would not mark.

Yup. It happens. Sweet dreams!