Fun Fact Friday - Goodbye Forever

Well, it has been fun, dear reader. With the apocalypse upon us, I really think I ought to say farewell and wish you all luck in your glorious afterlives. I, myself, am looking forward to a lovely time in Hell. To believe Dante, some parts of it sound rather adventuresome!

But let's be real. I'm not going anywhere, bitches. And neither are you. The world is not ending. So all the desperate virgins on twitter can calm the fuck down.

Do you know how many apocalypses I have already survived? The number is around 35. And that is just since my birth in late 1990. Anyway, for those of you concerned about future end of days predictions, I have the perfect fun fact.

Fun fact: If you plan on being raptured, you can sign up to email all your left behind chums after a few days.

Yup. There's a website. For only $14.95 you can send "suck my dick, sinner!" emails to up to 62 of your closest (ish) friends and family who you think probably won't be saved by the Jesus. The service, provided by youvebeenleftbehind.com (because you need a catchy name for shit like this), will email "one last message to the lost, at a time, when they might just be willing to hear it for the first and last time" six days after the rapture.

All of the classy.

"Now," I like to imagine you asking, "who sends these rapture emails?" Evidently the company has four Christian couples (with one alternate couple) spread about - so as to avoid the terrestrial concerns like "being wiped out by attack, natural disaster, or epidemic" - who must log into the system daily. If  three of the four couples fail to log into the system on any given day, the rapture has come!

And don't worry, the chief Christian running this service is pretty sure we'll still have the internet during the tribulation period, so everyone who has not been saved can still get that one last salvation email. The internet won't be raptured, dear reader. You know how much porn that shit has?

Sims get saved apparently.

And I wish, I wish, I were bullshitting you. But this is Fun Fact Friday. So I'm not. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed your apocalypse today, dear reader. Until next time, then...