Today's Secular Sunday comes in the form of a little chat I had with Jesus the other day. Please note that for the purposes of this and all future conversations with Christ, Jesus has a heavy Brooklyn accent. And his middle name is Howard.
JES: Jesus?
JESUS: Hey, how's it going, kiddo?
JES: Okay. I was just wondering, what were the dinosaurs like?
JESUS: They were fucking awesome, man.
JES: So why didn't you save them?
JESUS: Look, kiddo, here's the thing. Uh, my dad had this flower garden, and those bastards kept eating all the fucking flowers. Not cool. So, uh, my dad killed them.
JES: What‽
JESUS: Come on, kid! It's okay. He let me keep a pet Leptoceratops for a bit, though. Damn, I miss Lenny.
JES: Jesus, and I know this a bit much to ask for in prayer, but...
JESUS: Sorry, kid. I know where this is going, but you can't have a dinosaur.
JES: Not even a Lesothosaurus?
JESUS: Hey, hey! I said no! Okay? Okay?
JES: Yeah, okay.
JESUS: Look, I got a meeting in like ten minutes, so I, uh, should get going.
JES: Bye, Jesus.
Please enjoy the interrobang and the shout-out to lesser known dinosaurs. Also, Lenny is not pictured above. That picture was taken long before God smote all the dinosaurs for their flower based shenanigans.
No comments:
Post a Comment