Presidential Beauty - Part 3

And so the quest for the most handsome president continues!

31) George Washington

"I'd like to father a country with you..." - George Washington

George Washington may have been our first president, but that doesn't mean that he gets to splash rouge on his face and not answer for it! It's a wonder that strippers let this guy's face in their underthings.

30) John Adams

"With you I only want to have an XXX affair." - John Adams

Though there is a family resemblance, John Adams is much less frightening than his son. It really makes me worry about what Abigail Adams might look like even though John called her Miss Adorable. Perhaps it was more a reassuring than descriptive nickname?

29) William Howard Taft

"I'm sorry, but could you give me a hand out of the bath? I'm a bit wedged in." - William Howard Taft

Yes, he was our fattest president. And yes, he did get stuck in the bath tub. And yes, aides did have to help a naked version of this man out of the tub. But goddamnit, that is a fine curly mustache! Also he went on to be come a chief justice of the Supreme Court. I hear the robes are flattering.

28) Andrew Jackson

"They call me 'Old Hickory' because my dick is a tree." - Andrew Jackson

Andrew Jackson is so forlorn that he might just eat his face. And that makes me feel sad, not sexy. His hair does look awfully soft, though.

27) John Tyler

"I'm the reason Virginia is for lovers." - John Tyler

The first president to rise to the office due to the death of an incumbent president, Tyler was dubbed "his accidency" - proving that snappy nicknames have long been a part of political opposition. But the vague handsomeness embodied in our tenth president was no mistake.

26) James Buchanan

"I'm the only one of these bitches that's a bachelor, ladies." - James Buchanan

Does anyone else see the somewhat surprising resemblance to John Lithgow? Sure, Buchanan is shinier and has his collar popped like a fucking Pringles tube, but I think it's time Steven Spielberg announced his next project: Buchanan starring John Lithgow as a more put together version of our fifteenth president.

Come back tomorrow for some more judgmental commentary, dear reader! Handsomer men await!