Fun Fact Friday - Gesundheit!

Why, hello! Sometimes I say gesundheit to people when they cough. But today's fun fact is about sneezing!

Fun fact: The old English word for sneeze is "fneosan."

"Hi. I didn't sneeze. I'm just cute." - Lester the Elephant

I don't have a whole lot to say about this. I am, however, conflicted because "sneeze" is a cool word. But "fneosan" kind of is too. Also, I think elephants are adorable.

Fun Fact Friday - Strip Tease

Did that title get your attention, dear reader? I sure hope so. Because I have been waiting to do this fun fact for months, and it's finally time! Tomorrow is the birthday of one of my heroes: former Supreme Court super star John Paul Stevens.

The cutest justice to have ever lived.

He wears bow ties and I love him. He will be 93. But now I simply must give you the fun fact! I've waited so long!

Fun fact: In 1998, a New York strip club, Scores, renamed its Champagne Room the John Paul Stevens Room.

Scores didn't name the room after JPS because they wanted to honor him as a patron, but because John Paul Stevens agreed to put a stay on the enforcement of a law that cracked down on adult entertainment until the constitutionality of the law had been determined. That is all you really need to know. Except perhaps that I once wrote John Paul Stevens fan mail. Because what else is a young woman to do with her time?

Happy birthday, John Paul Stevens! And until next time, dear reader....

To the Owner of the Vomit Stain...

To the owner of the vomit stain,

Thank you. I have long felt the hallway leading to my room was lacking that special something that made it "home." Be it the scent of three day old vomit or the aesthetic appeal of the little chunks that might be half-digested tomatoes, I now come home with a renewed sense of welcome. The discolored splotch of carpet seems to writhe up to greet me, as if to say, "Why, hello, Jes. I missed you!"

As I trudge homeward along the goose poop imbued pathways at the end of my long days, I find myself wondering if the stain will still be there. It's been two days, I muse, surely its owner must have come to collect it by now. I simply can't imagine the kind of generous person that would grant me this kind of joy for so long.

The first day, that first fateful day, when I left my room in the morning to meet the rancid scent beyond my door, I thought with wonder, What a gift! What a precious gift today has brought! Vomit! Yes, vomit! A blessed offering that I assumed I would not long know. But day passed into night, and as I scuffled through the hallway I was delighted to see that you had not come to collect the scraps of food and drink you once hoped to digest. My friend remained. There. On the carpet. In the middle of the hall.

By the second day, I was sure that you would not want to share the precious gift of your regurgitation with me any longer. After all, you took the time and effort to spew the contents of your stomach in the hallway. I did not. And so why should I be so blessed to share in the pure joy of its company?

But on this, the third day, I almost feel as though you have abandoned your vomitus. The stain on the floor remains as splotchy and chunky as the day it first appeared, and I sense a sadness about it now. As much as I love coming home to the spatter on the rug, I think it misses you. You, the owner of the vomit stain. It seems only right that you rejoin it, embrace it, claim it as your own. While I will miss its enduring presence, I know it misses you more. So, dear owner of the vomit stain, I implore you to come find your barf and take it home, so that it can know your lasting love instead of my fleeting fondness and brief flirtations.

Most sincerely,
Jes

Fun Fact Friday - Rebecca the Raccoon

For a while, I felt it my duty to steer clear of presidential fun facts. After all, I had stroked their egos (and maybe a little something else) a lot during the beauty pageant. But I am rather pooped today, dear reader, and though you might think that would make it an ideal time to go with one of the flatulence fun facts I have locked and loaded, I've decided to go to one of my all time favorite fun facts instead.

Fun fact: Calvin Coolidge kept a pet raccoon, Rebecca, in the White House.

"Oh, Rebecca! You forgot your hat, darling!" - Mrs. Coolidge

Apparently the real bond was not between raccoon and ruler, but between Coolidge's wife, Grace, and the furry female. Rebecca enjoyed playing with soap and eating eggs - truly a life fit for none but a First Raccoon. Though President Coolidge himself insisted upon Rebecca being a man, he allegedly took her on walks in the evenings.

To be fair, Rebecca was probably better behaved than the children. And I also want a pet raccoon after seeing pictures of Rebecca. I like to imagine them as snuggly rather than rabid.