Fun Fact Friday - Fashionista Edition

If you ever find yourself living with a seamstress, you may find yourself in close contact with a large variety of aggressively distasteful prom dresses. If that happens, you may also find yourself accidentally sharing the shower with sequins. You won't have invited them in there, but they will be there. Watching you.

Just imagine this in your shower to understand my life.

In any case, all the prom dresses around me and this year's unfortunate sequin incident - which, to be honest, was less unfortunate than last year's - have left me with fashion on the brain. And this one won't involve any presidents. Once you see the fun fact, you'll be grateful of that.

Fun fact: The world's most expensive bikini is worth $30 million.

I would have shown it being modeled, but I could only find pictures of FDR wearing it...

Well, damn! It's made entirely of diamonds. No fabric. Because why waste time with fabric when you can wear nothing but rocks. And hey, this way you can be a 10. On the Mohs scale.

That's right, nerds. That one was just for you.

Fun Fact Friday - Recycling!

Why, hello! You may be expecting a fun fact about recycling. And I am sure there are many of those, I just don't happen to know any. Or have the energy to look one up. So I am recycling a fun fact which I originally posted a few years ago instead. Please enjoy this trip down memory lane with a man who has been on my mind lately - Teddy Roosevelt.

Fun fact: Every member of Theodore Roosevelt's family owned a pair of stilts.

Teddy: unaware of the inevitable stilt based disappointment his future held.

I have seen the familial stilt ownership explained by TR's children, who evidently loved to have adventuresome playtime. I assume that Teddy and his lovely wife, Edith Kermit (yes, Kermit) Carrow, were simply practicing for the circus.

I like to believe that Theodore hoped to join the circus for much of his life, which is why he cultivated such a fine mustache. During his presidency, Theodore stayed in training, ever hopeful that upon his retirement from politics, Barnum and Bailey's Circus would find a place for the routine he and Edith had perfected: Theodore and Edith's Stilted Waltz. It was a beautiful, lilting dance, but by the time the Roosevelt administration came to an end, ragtime music was at the height of its popularity. Circuses had no place for the act. Dejected, Theodore destroyed all photographic evidence of the routine and threw his own stilts into the Potomac.

Of course I have no proof that any of that is true, but isn't it pretty to think so? And I have not come across any other explanations for Theodore's stilt possession. Or his mustache...

Well, there you have it. Our thirteenth sexiest president, just rocking out with his pince-nez and Pillsbury face. Until next week, dear reader!

Fun Fact Friday - Bouncing Balls

I must warn the faint of heart that today's fun fact pertains to sports. Also to history. Also to underwear. And no, you're not dreaming. This shit is real.

Fun fact: Anne Boleyn watched Henry VIII play tennis in his underwear.

"Tennis? Sure. Just let me grab my balls." - Henry VIII

Before you think the royals indecent, I must tell you the tennis court was indoors. But I am disappointed to report that I have been unable to uncover little else about this pantsless pastime.

With so little to go on, I like to imagine that Anne cherished her time watching Henry play tennis in his underwear. Goodness knows, she was probably just relieved he was doing something in his underwear that wasn't trying to impregnate her with the next king of England.

"Put the mouse back in the house." - Anne Boleyn (after an unfortunate tennis mishap)

In any case, I have a much better view of Henry VIII now. I mean that figuratively of course. I don't think I would actually prefer viewing Henry in his underwear. I just meant that playing sports in nothing but a jock redeems him ever so slightly for killing some wives. Not all the way. If he wanted that kind of redemption, he really should've considered bobsledding in the nude.

Fun Fact Friday - Cat Lady in Training

There is a certain stigma that people associate with cat ladies, but I have long been a proud cat lady in training (or, as I prefer to say, C.L.I.T.). But if this interblog is about anything (it's not), it's about breaking down barriers. And that is what today's fun fact will do.

Fun fact: Every year Americans spend more money on cat food than they do on baby food.

And I have never been more proud to be an American. Because cats.

My kitteh is fancy as fuck.

I'd like to see a baby in a top hat look that good. Actually, I don't think I care to see a baby in a top hat. And some of you may be aghast right now, but I will not feel shame. My fellow C.L.I.T.s and I should not be made to feel shame. Americans should be spending more money on cat food than on baby food. Because cats are better than babies.

I will not take that back.

Please enjoy this list of reasons why cats are better than babies:

1) Babies do not poop in boxes. Cats do.

2) Cats can eat off the floor without it being an issue for protective services.

and, if any other reason were required,

3) On car rides, you can put cats in cages.

Obviously I have more reasons, but if you say any of these to people who wonder why you'd rather have cats than kids, they will probably leave you alone. Maybe forever. And I really don't care. Because I have this face to come home to:

Until next time, dear reader.