Flirting in German - Underpants

As promised, I have taken the bold, fresh step that many of today's prepubescent youth take: offering unsolicited tips on the youtube.

What better day to launch a German language/flirtation series than on the eve of August 1st, Swiss National Day? Probably actually on August 1st. Womp, womp.

Fun Fact Friday - A Nightmare

I have decided to do something crazy dear reader and I hope you will forgive me I am writing this interblahg post sans punctuation You probably noticed already I feel fucking weird and I do not like it It has to do with the fun fact though so try and bear with me I am already trying to bear with myself Holy fuck this feels unnatural

But before I get to the fun fact I feel honor bound to apologize for my long absence It's not you It's me But you may be glad to know that I plan to start a lovely instructional video series on how to flirt on one year of German I know it doesn't sound sexy and truth be told it probably will not be So look forward to that But now for the fun fact

Fun Fact There was no punctuation until the fifteenth century

I miss these delicious fuckers

You may be sitting there thinking holy shitballs Batman because you do not have the energy to even be euphemistic without the sweet sweet promise of punctuation I am right there with you you beautiful bastard Yes living without modern plumbing was probably a drag But punctuation too Holy shitballs Batman

According to my in depth by which I mean very brief internet research there was some punctuation Like Chaucer would throw the occasional period into the Canterbury Tales but commas and shit were not standard fare And to think I get upset that the promotional materials for the the amusement park I work at never use the oxford comma

In any case dear reader I hate to cut this interblahg somewhat short after such a prolonged absence but it is as hard as the penis of a lonely adult virgin to type like this I am sorry I made the poor decision to do this I am sorry I put you through this Oh the shame The goddamn shame

Fun Fact Friday - Long Lost Buttons

Fuck, I love buttons! But not belly buttons (or as wikipedia tells me some misguided people call them, tummy buttons). I think they're kind of gross. They're all dark and wrinkly, like the prunes of human anatomy. Today's fact, however, is about belly buttons. Or rather, the conspicuous lack thereof.

These look so delicious.

Fun fact: Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.

At first, I was shocked and bewildered to learn that fun fact, but be heartened to know, dear reader, that he was not another Superman. He was just a man who had some sort of surgery on his stomach that happened to result in the absence of a belly button.

Apparently it is not entirely uncommon. I found a BBC news story about a Czech model who had no belly button and was not, according to her agent, "'an alien.'" That is reassuring.

That Czech lady's stomach. Because having zoomed in pictures of one's abdomen posted all over the internet is everyone's dream.

But pictures of belly buttonless abdomens are less reassuring. I thought, since I am vaguely disturbed by the buttons, I would find smooth stomachs comforting in some way. But not really. I mean, at least I don't think it will explode. Which is how I think about normal belly buttons. Because I have a large number of irrational fears. Which is why I probably should not have decided to write about belly buttons. Because now I am thinking about my own. And what would happen if it just happened to come undone. And I need to go soak my eyes. Farewell, dear reader. Farewell.