Secular Sunday - Om Nom Nom

Earlier this week an old chum of mine saw this:

You may be too distracted by the bold claim obscuring the rear window to notice that you can learn more about tasty, tasty pets at what I have found to be a surprisingly low-budget website.

To save you the trouble of downloading the file about preparing your pets for dinner, I have some excerpts:

Bonus surprised animal, clearly warranted.

There was some shit about Noah's ark and God telling bitches that we could eat any of the creatures because that's what he made them for. But then later he apparently changes his mind about the pigs... I don't know. Fickle, I guess.

I would like to note that the "PETS ARE DELICIOUS MEAT" campaign provides no recipes. Come on! Those recipes aren't on instagram! And some of you may be saying, "But, Jes! You're Swiss! And this truthful grace lady says your people have been om nom nomming cats and dogs for years!" Unfortunately, the Pikant Katzen recipe is not one that has been passed down in my family. If pets really are delicious meats, I would think this lady should have some meat pies and shit I could make. She does not, which is just rude. Rude, I say!

Also, I think this is the first time I've been told to eat pussy for Jesus.