Fun Fact Friday - Flush Today Goodbye

I organized some buttons today, dear reader. Because I lead a rich and full life. And what better way to celebrate life than with toilets?

Fun fact: Most toilets flush in E flat.

A toilet, modeling.

At this point I like to imagine you running to your fine set of tuning forks and then rushing to the restroom. I myself thought of finding my tuner, but I think it may be in a shed. And it is a somewhat brisk fall evening in the wilds of New Hampshire. I can't be bothered to rummage around in a cold, dark shed so I can attempt to check if my toilet does, in fact, flush as one particular note. I can't help feeling it would also be somewhat cruel of me to visit Stanley, my long-neglected trumpet, just to leave him wallowing outside while I gallivanted about with the tuner. I can imagine him trying to curl deeper into the lining of the case to fight off the cold and muttering to himself, "I wonder what she's going to use the tuner for. Is she playing something else? After all we've been through? I don't ask for much, but I wish she'd blow me once in a while!"

Stanley and me, in better times.

It's probably been four years since I even touched him. We used to spend holidays together - Halloween, Christmas, and the entirety of National Goat Cheese Month. His heartbreak is raw without me adding to his pain. So I just can't do that kind of shit to Stanley in the pursuit of toilet knowledge, dear reader! I hope you'll understand.

And in any case, I am only one person. My toilet would prove nothing alone. I cannot tune all the toilets in the world. And I am also unable to fathom why this fun fact came into existence. It seems more useless than my usual fare of frivolity. I have no personal experience to corroborate it with.

But if you wish, dear reader, you can polish your tuning forks and plop down next to the toilet. You could flush again and again, listening for the wonderful, life-affirming consonance that means your arrangement of Beethoven's 3rd with a part for a potty can finally be played. You could, in my stead, see if your toilet sings a clean, clear E flat when called upon. But when your loved ones inquire after your wellbeing, may I recommend not mentioning that you're tuning the toilet to spare a tender trumpet's heart?