I am in quite a huff. A huff that will likely not even be healed by Fun Fact Friday. Probably because it is this very fun fact that has gotten me in such a huff!
Fun fact: All-Bran is 87% bran.
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| "Everything I have ever told you is a lie. I am not all bran. And I don't love you." - Phineas E. All-Bran |
This is worse than the day I discovered JC Penney was not JC Penny. And that was a devastating day.
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| These ones are probably even less bran. |
Sure, you might not eat All-Bran. I don't. I like pooping to be a challenge. But it just makes me think about all the cereals that have probably lied to me over the years. Maybe I shouldn't judge them all by the All-Bran standard of deception. But what if Sonny the Cuckoo Bird is not cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs?
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| "I'm not cuckoo. I'm just somewhat excitable." - Sonny |
What if Baron Von Redberry preferred blueberries? What if Snap, Crackle, and Pop prefer to be known by their Swiss names of Piff, Paff, and Poff? And worst of all, what if Tony the Tiger is actually a panther who painted his orange stripes on to sell cereal?
I just can't deal with all this pain. I mean, I always knew Lucky Charms cereal wasn't magically delicious. But now All-Bran has turned on us? This is a pain that cannot be healed. Not even by a gentle stroke of the thigh from the Quaker Oat man.
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